crappy easter
i'm gettin to a point in my life where holidays just don't mean jack anymore. sure, i luv gettin togetha w/ my family but sumthin is missin now. i'm not sure what it is. besides moms cookin just a lil bit extra for dinner, today was just anutha day. i'm tired and full. my spirit is down and i'm in some pain. i should spend a lil time writing in my "real" journal and get my thoughts in order. tha madness needs to stop.

i need a hug.

i went to retrocycle after leavin work and found a really dope knitted poncho in varigated rainbow colors. it was a lil chilly today so it was perfect. i just got in and should b in bed, but i'm too fired up to sleep.

my scarf awaits.

we get to leave early today. woohoo! i'm goin to spend tha next two hours runnin errands, visiting my favorite vintage store, and findin a really cheap digi cam.

happy friday!

blog skins is tha devil.
i just spent an hour makin changes.
and now those changes r m i a.

what tha fuck is up w/ that?!

i'm not feelin funky and oh so fine anymore.
more like lethargic and sleepy.
tha sun is shinin and it's warm.
tha streets of anchorage looks like a great big slurpee.
slush everywhere.
breakup is here.
soon tha trees will b buddin
and tha grass will b turnin green.

this skin of mine needs some color.
and i can't wait to paint my toes purple
and rock my open toe platform shoes.

mmm. hmmm.

meditation tip of tha day...
The ego is constantly in search of being a boss - whatsoever the cost, at any cost. You
are losing your whole opportunity of life just to fulfill a shadowy, non-substantial
notion - the notion of ego: "I am somebody."
Nobody is nobody. We are all one; we are not separate.

Osho

femi is playin awfully loud from my 'puter speakers. i'm thinkin 'bout cuttin out early. there's absolutely nuttin goin on here. babygirl is stayin @ her dad's tonite, so i have a nite to myself. there's so much happenin w/in tha next few weeks. poetry poetry and mo' poetry. so many shows. not enuff time. i'm makin c a hat to wear for her poetry jam performance (she's openin). i'm makin myself sumthin as well. of course i don't know what it will b and probably won't figure it out 'til tha last minute.

i'm full off of wings and girl scout cookies (samoas, yum). i wish i could sew. i wish i could paint. i'm ready to wear my open toe platforms. i wish tha snow would melt...quicker.

byebye.

girl scout cookies r tha devil...

i have internet access @ work once again!

i began lookin for anutha job today. i'm tired of bein bored/uninspired/unchallenged. tha thing is, i'm not really sure what i'm lookin for. maybe i should go back to school. maybe i should quit tha gov't all togetha and find a job that suits my creative abilities.

so many thoughts runnin thru my brain...

i woke up this morn and thought...i was in dc last sunday. my weekend in dc was tha best weekend i've had in a very long ass time. i've got p on tha brain and it's really drivin me nuts. i just wanna talk to him all day...everyday. that would get expensive. i told myself that i would b content w/ just bein w/ (not by) myself. that was two days ago. now i'm gettin those pains in my gut. tha pain of wantin a certain someone..someone to wake up to e'ry mawnin...someone to wrap their arms 'round me @ nite. i know that someone will present themselves one day. but what can i do to numb this pain?

tomorrow is a new day and i will feel betta. howeva, tonite my ass is gonna lite a spliff and let my mind drift into subliminal bliss. i've got some hats to make. *sigh*

i'm home.
tha plane ride was absolutely terrible. goin down it was an eight hour flight. now that was long, but what i don't understand is how comin back could b longer. 10 1/2 hours yall. when tha plane touched down in seattle i was like, "cool, i'm almost home." i was exhausted. i had spent my last nite in dc eatin good food and drinkin good drinks. i was drunk and got 4hrs of sleep. when i reboarded tha plane to head home, i fell asleep waitin for everyone to board. i wake up to find it snowin --blizzard type weather-- and tha lady sittin next to me sayin, "u probably thought we'd b up in tha air by now, huh?". i had been asleep for 2 hrs. we had been on tha ground for 2 hrs. i woke up to alaska airlines workers de.icing tha wings. they did this 4 times while a mechanic was on tha plane checkin one of tha emergency exit doors. i was so irritated. when we finally get off tha ground, lunch was served and i got sick off of that shit. i will neva eat airplane food again. then tha pilot really makes things worse when he says tha flight will b 5 hrs. wtf?!! tha flight from anchorage to seattle is onlee 3 hrs? when we finally landed, i was thankin god for gettin me home safely and for not puking my guts out on tha plane. i then came home (after moms surprised me and picked me up from tha airport) and slept for 14 hrs.

so i'm home w/ lots of projects to work on wonderin what my next move will b.

dc has blessed me w/ so much. i've met so many wonderful ppl since i've been here. i met kwas -w/ his cute self. i'm glad i got to see him b4 i left. this week has been so full. i've eaten @ some amazin restaurants -dos gringos, islamabad, sunflower-- been to some cool ass spots --bar nun, bohemian cavern, state of tha union-- saw fertile ground and miscellaneous flux perform and even went to my first yoga class.

i'm not ready to go home i tell ya. i'm not! i'll get more into details when i get home. peace.

i'm gettin anxious.
there r so many things to do b4 tues morn.
i gotta pack.
i don't like to pack.
i hate unpackin even more.
tv is tha devil.
after seein tha commercial for sara lee cheesecake bars 6 times, i'm now cravin cheesecake.
i will buy one when i leave my parent's crib.

i gotta pack.

today, i rediscovered what it was like to get lost in a book. @ work, i began readin zora neale hurston's their eyes were watching god and couldn't put it down. 130 pgs. read and i'm afraid to start up again for fear of goin to bed really really late.

i need more books.

i went to chuck d's lecture last thurs. i was told tha brotha was long-winded, but i just didn't realize how long winded he could b. he stood on stage and talked for 4 hrs. a sista reached home 'round 1am.

not too much is goin on w/ me. my cold is finally leavin me and i'm preparin for my trip to dc next week.